The other day I bought a bag of “Plackers” Dental-Flossers. We’ve all seen them and even used them at one point. Now, I am not denigrating the usefulness of this product, it is great. I can’t use regular floss, and I always take way too much string when I try to. This is more ergo-dynamic and economical for me. Listen…I don’t mean to use my blog as a product placer.
However, when I was reading the packet I saw the following, “Engineered not to shred or break during use. The Same Fiber Used To Make Bulletproof Vests.” Now, I’m all for the string not breaking or shredding when I’m using it…but do we really need the same fiber that is used to make bulletproof vests? Do the other bullet-prone fibers not work? I’ve used the non-bulletproof flossers before and they have never broke on me; they worked just fine. Can I make my own bulletproof vest out of this material? Is there such a surplus of bulletproof fiber that we needed to find another use for it?
Honestly, I’m a little concerned. Is the material used for bulletproof vests so cheap and inexpensive that we can buy a whole bunch of bullet-proof strings for under three dollars. At this rate, how much would it cost to make my own bulletproof vest? Twenty bucks? How safe are our bulletproof vests if the material is so cheap? I think our local police departments should know that their equipment is being made from the same materials as dental flossers. Or are the cops using their vests to help keep their gums clean? Is this the government’s way of saving money…by taking dental plans away from police officers and giving them dual-purpose dental hygienic vests?
I can see the advertisements now: “Plackers Micro-Mint Dental Floss…Save Your Gums and Lives!” Or “Helps Fight Cavity and Crime at the Same Time (for the hip-hop jingle). Maybe that’s the target market: Rappers with the gold teeth who are trying to protect their mouths while flossing (Hat-tip to Jack for the suggestion). Since 50 Cent has been shot in the mouth numerous times, the marketers figured rappers can use a floss that will help protect them from bullets. I’m just saying…
